Techniques To Help Manage ADHD Symptoms For Children

Understanding ADHD: A Guide for Parents

ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is classified by the American Psychiatric Association as a neurodevelopmental disorder, meaning it is present from birth. Research shows that in about 60% of cases, ADHD symptoms persist into adulthood. This condition is linked to changes or delays in the development of the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain responsible for “executive functioning,” including planning, organization, and self-regulation.

When your child seems to forget things, procrastinate, struggle to follow instructions, or become easily distracted, they are not ignoring you or acting this way on purpose. ADHD makes these everyday tasks more difficult. Still, it’s essential to help them learn to navigate life’s responsibilities—complying with rules, laws, and norms—to grow into happy, productive members of society.

Fortunately, there are a variety of tools and techniques to help manage ADHD symptoms beyond medication. Dr. Stephanie Sarkis identifies several categories of evidence-based non-medication strategies, such as:

• Movement techniques
• Working memory training
• Vestibular and cerebellar exercises
• Managing overstimulation of the nervous system
• Physical activity and exercise
• Addressing environmental influences
• Nutritional supplements
• Dietary changes

While some of these require consultation with a healthcare professional (e.g., your pediatrician or a nutritionist), I’d like to share some techniques that have been found in research to be helpful and that I can personally endorse, after trying them with my own son who has ADHD.

What Are “Bottom-Up” vs. “Top-Down” Strategies?

“Bottom-up” strategies focus on addressing underlying sensory, emotional, and physiological processes to support self-regulation and behavior. These strategies often rely on external tools or environmental adjustments and are like “training wheels” that help the brain and body function more effectively.

Examples include:

• Using phone reminders, charts, or calendars.
• Apps for task or time management.
• Visual tools like clear organizing bins instead of opaque ones.
• Physical timers like the Pomodoro Timer to provide visual and auditory cues.

In contrast, “top-down” strategies engage higher-level cognitive processes, such as planning, memory, and self-control. These involve consciously applying techniques and tools to manage tasks independently.

For example:

• A child who independently remembers their morning routine (e.g., brushing teeth, getting dressed, packing their school bag) without reminders.
• A college student who submits job applications by the deadline without external prompts.

While “top-down” approaches are often the ultimate goal, using “bottom-up” techniques is perfectly valid—and even recommended. Repetition and external supports help build new neural connections (a process called neuroplasticity) and reinforce executive functioning skills. Over time, these supports can lead to greater independence.

Useful Techniques to Help Manage ADHD Symptoms

1. Break Tasks into Smaller Steps Large tasks can feel overwhelming. Divide them into smaller, more manageable sub-tasks. For instance, a school assignment could be broken down into writing one paragraph per day or solving one question at a time. Use planners, agendas, or phone apps to schedule these sub-tasks. For chores, assign specific days or times:

• “Take out the trash on Tuesdays.”
• “Clean your closet on the first of each month.”
  

2. Incorporate Breaks Regular breaks can improve focus and reduce frustration. For younger children, physical timers (like the Pomodoro Timer) can be helpful visual aids. For example:
   • “Read for 20 minutes, take a 7-minute break, and then do 15 minutes of math.”
     
3. Recognize Limits Children with ADHD may struggle with prolonged activities or social gatherings. Plan outings with their tolerance in mind, and don’t hesitate to set boundaries. For example:
   • “We’ll visit for two hours because my child finds longer visits challenging.” It’s not defiance—it’s simply their current capacity.
     
4. Advocate for Your Child Communicate your child’s needs with teachers, coaches, or family members. Share strategies that work, like moving fragile items out of reach (like your mother’s 50 years old vase from Spain) or providing sensory breaks. Advocacy helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures your child receives support, even when you’re not present.
   
5. Create a Contingency Plan Outings like grocery shopping can become overwhelming. Before leaving, discuss a “what if” plan for managing difficult moments:
   • “If you start feeling overwhelmed, let me know, and we’ll take a break outside.”
     

By combining patience, advocacy, and these strategies, you can create a supportive environment that helps your child thrive. With time and practice, they’ll build the skills needed to navigate life with confidence. 

Supporting Your Child Through ADHD Challenges

Encourage Communication: Teach your child to communicate when they are struggling. Even young children, as young as 4 or 5, can learn to use simple phrases like, “I want to go home,” “I’m bored,” or “This is hard.” With practice and patience, they’ll become more comfortable expressing themselves in challenging situations.

Plan Ahead: For very young children who may not yet express their emotions effectively, and especially if they are highly sensitive to sensory input such as loud noises and strong lights- it might be better to leave them at home during long mundane errands or make shorter trips focused on essentials. Over time, with practice, your child can gradually build the tolerance for longer outings.

If you must take your child to the store, try to make the trip as quick as possible. When more than one adult is present, explain to your child that if they start struggling, one adult will redirect them once or twice. If necessary, one adult can continue shopping while the other takes the child outside to release energy by running or jumping. If that’s not an option, the backup plan could involve the other adult taking the child to the car. Bringing fidget toys (like “pop its”), books, or audiobooks can also help keep them engaged during the outing.

Stay Calm and Neutral: When explaining this plan to your child—or while executing it—use a calm and neutral tone. It’s essential to present this as a coping skill rather than a punishment. Avoid an angry or blaming tone, as this can trigger feelings of guilt, shame, or resentment. Instead, frame the plan as a natural and helpful way to manage a difficult situation. This approach will help your child feel validated and supported, rather than punished or excluded.

Emotional Awareness and Regulation

Introducing Emotions: All children need time to understand and identify their emotions, and children with ADHD often struggle more with emotional regulation. Start introducing emotions early by using tools such as emotion charts, emotion wheels, or colorful visuals like pyramids with labeled feelings. You can also model emotional identification by stating your own feelings in a descriptive way. For example:

• “I’m feeling angry right now because XYZ happened.”
• “I need to take a few deep breaths right now to help me calm down. I will talk to you in a minute”.

Teaching Healthy Expression: Let your child know it’s normal—and healthy—to experience and express emotions. However, there are productive and unproductive ways to do so.

• It’s okay to feel angry and raise your voice occasionally.
• It’s not okay to scream excessively, use offensive language, break property, or resort to violence.

Instead, teach them alternatives:

• Punching a punching bag/beanbag or pillow.
• Going for a run or engaging in physical activity.
• Screaming into a pillow.
• Practicing deep breathing (e.g., the “4-4-4” method: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds).
• Using fidget toys, squishy objects, or stress balls.
• Listening to music or chewing ice cubes.

Encourage them to verbalize their feelings, for example:

• “I’m angry at you because ______.”
  

Prepared, Calm Responses

Think of this like creating a protocol—a plan for when things get tough. Having pre-prepared, validating responses can help you stay calm and supportive during emotional outbursts. For example, if your child uses their words to express feelings (e.g., “Mom, I’m mad at you! You did XYZ”), respond with:

• “Thank you for telling me how you feel. Now I understand what’s happening, and I’d like to help if I can.”
• “Hitting your sister/not brushing your teeth/_(other unacceptable behavior)_____ isn’t an option. But you can choose whether you want to brush your teeth now or in 10 minutes/ you can choose whether you want to go to our backyard and run in circles or punch your punching bag”.
• For adolescents: “I understand you feel like you hate me right now, because you can’t get what you want. It’s your right to decide whom you love. But know that I love you no matter what”. 
• “I can see you’re feeling angry/sad/frustrated/disappointed. I believe you, and I’d like to sit here with you. We can be sad together.”
• Legitimize the obvious: sometimes teenagers will respond with behaviors/ reactions that are not appropriate to the situation or exaggerated. However, there might be a “grain” of logic or sense to their behavior; it’s important to recognize it and validate it. For example- “of course this is how you feel”. “If you failed a test, of course you feel disappointed”. “If a girl stood you up/ ignored your text, it’s natural you feel rejected”. 

Remember, validating your child’s emotions is not the same as approving unwanted behavior. Acknowledging their feelings doesn’t mean you condone inappropriate actions, but it helps your child feel understood. This emotional connection builds trust and strengthens their ability to self-regulate and reduces tensions and outbursts in everyday situations.

Resources:
Stephani Sarkis, Ph.D- “Changing the ADHD brain : moving beyond medication“. PESI certification at www. PESI.com

David Nowell, Ph.D- “Changing the ADHD brain: moving beyond medication”. PESI certification, www.PESI.comRussell Barkely, Ph.D- “ADHD in children and adolescents: advances in diagnosis, treatment and management”. PESI certification www. PESI.com
Emotion chart teen | TPT